Tuesday, February 21, 2017

[CRIT] The Five-Hour Energy Denver Mattress Explorers of the University of Amsterdam

Party: The Five-Hour Energy Denver Mattress Explorers of the University of Amsterdam
Adventure: Maze of the Blue Medusa
System: Lamentations of the Flame Princess
Session: #2

My Lamentations of the Flame Princess group decided that they really like bookkeeping. And I don’t blame them! Basic D&D and its many permutations tend to be pretty loosey-goosey with their resource management rules (even though it’s a crucial element of the game), which leaves room for a lot of creativity.
I’m running the party through Maze of the Blue Medusa, which I introduced through The Magnificent Joop van Ooms; Ooms considered “False Chantrelle” to be his worst work and squirreled it away in the back of his gallery.
The characters – highwaymen hired by Ooms to put a stop to a performance of his play, a story I won’t get into – ransacked Ooms’ tower after his untimely death and sold off his paintings on the black market, ferrying them out of the city via his submersible. This provided them ample funding for expeditions into the painting, dividing the game into two settings: 1600s Amsterdam and the mythical, zany realm of Psyrathella.
But as all good dungeoneers know, there’s no such thing as too much money, especially when megadungeons and gold-for-XP is involved. So after reinvesting their ill-earned wealth, they petitioned the University of Amsterdam to give students credit hours for assisting with their expeditions (secretly, the party wanted to see if any of them had latent magical powers that would be activated upon entering the maze). After a couple of good recruitment rolls, the University was so thrilled with the idea that they became the party’s sponsor, matching their investments.
Sponsors. That’s something my players had never considered before, and they capitalized upon that idea. As a joke, they emblazoned their armor with the logos of their sponsors, not unlike a NASCAR driver. To name a few: Ye Olde Five-Hour Energy and Ye Olde Denver Mattress. Before they knew it, these grungy criminals had at their disposal more money than they had seen in their entire lives. Who knew selling out could be so awesome?
But they will soon learn a harsh truth: that if you want to keep your sponsors, you have to further their goals as well. And once you sell out, you can’t survive without them.