As I write this, I'm getting ready for my weekly handler-mandated "pony workout," during which I have to get a good workout in while wearing my tack. Not full tack, mind you (minimum tail, bridle, posture collar, and "skin"); we reserve that for when we're practicing in public parks. Because if you're going to be a horse in public, you gotta look good doing it. No excuse.
Actually, practicing in the sunroom and the backyard is scarier to me than practicing in public, because the house I'm leasing is in the middle of white suburbia. Furthermore, my backyard is elevated in relation to the houses behind mine. Basically, I'm in full view of my neighbors when I'm training, and these are neighbors my roommates and I have to keep for at least a year, and want to keep for at least three.
But I'm doing it anyway, mostly because I fear my handler subjecting me to "enhanced training" more than the opinions of snooty suburbanites. And as per my pony/handler contract, my roommates have the ability to rat me out for neglecting my training, and I'm not risking it. Turns out that having your roommates involved in a kinky arrangement with you isn't half as fun as all those books I've been reading make it out to be.
If my handler is reading this, I hope that this evidences that I am being a good horse and shouldn't be run into the ground, but instead given lots of carrots.
Anyway, here's the cover to my imaginary new workout video, “How to Look Pretty Damn Good, But Not Nearly as Good as the Show Pony Pictured Here:”